It's dark, but that's why you are here. The world has turned its face from the light hours ago. The warmth of the day has gone too. The air is mostly still though, but occasionally you feel a light, almost pathetic gust pass across you. The only major natural light comes from a crescent moon, but soon the world will turn away from it too. Unnatural ( Read more... )

This hasn't been a good week. Fuck, it hasn't been a good year for me. I've been more heavily depressed for longer than I have been in a very long while, and I just can't see an end to it. I've felt this bad before, but usually I'm able to climb back out of it. I can probably find a half a dozen entries where I've done just that, so I'm not sure ( Read more... )

However bad last week wast, this week was so much worse. It started out okay, except that I couldn't seem to wake up before noon, try as I might. I couldn't seem to muster up the courage to begin Plan C, so I occupied myself by going on extended, 30 mile bike rides. Did one on Monday where I went to Belmont (one town over from Platteville, then ( Read more... )

This week was a huge mixed bag. I'll start of with the bad first. I've blown it. After the success of last week, this week was a mess. The conference went well, but more on that later. Coming back from it though, I just couldn't get back on schedule. I don't know what my problem is, but easy day I didn't get up until noon, except for Saturday. A ( Read more... )

So this week was the first week in my plan to change my life. Overall, I'm pretty pleased with the results, though I definitely have room for improvement. Nothing "great happened," but I did get applications for Plan A out. I didn't hear back from my hopeful from Plan B, and so it's a bust (sorry to use jargon. See my previous entry to make it more ( Read more... )

I already had written this week's entry. It was another "woe is me, my life is so miserable" pity party. But shortly after completing it, I went on an extended bike ride to the M. It was then that I had an epiphany. Instead of whining about my life, why don't I DO something about it. Why not change my fate? Why not be pro-active instead of waiting ( Read more... )

Well June is almost at an end, and not much has changed for me. This is seriously bumming me out. I had a bunch of interviews toward the beginning  of the month, but nothing since. And I haven't heard anything back from the jobs I have interviewed for. The silence is really the most frustrating part of it all. I make good progress, send out plenty ( Read more... )

Well, another late update, and yet, the only person who does care if I'm let or not doesn't seem to care. But maybe that's a topic for another time. So I've done a bit of traveling in the last two weeks, so I guess that's what I'll be writing about for this entry. Unfortunately, I didn't go to the first concert i was thinking about going to. I didn ( Read more... )

Well, I've been having a better couple weeks than I did the last entry. Still, it felt good to blow off some steam like that. And I've made decent progress on applying to jobs since then. I got some positive responses from a couple, but it's too early to say if it'll develop into anything. Unfortunately, I just don't have anything to write about ( Read more... )

How is it May now? At least the weather is a little better.  Earlier today, I was staring at my computer screen trying to muster up the gumption to write yet another cover letter to apply to yet another job I probably won't get, and I just couldn't make it go. So I decided to screw it and take a bike ride. Didn't know where I was going to go, I ( Read more... )